My Sorrows

Nice trip in England and all that, but day after day I realize how much he hates me. He told me, just a couple of days ago that "[he does] like me on some level." It means nothing and everything, but he wasn’t forced to say it. 

He upset me, once more when he said he wanted to cut out on the time he spends on internet… And it made me cry… I’m not able to handle his absence. It’s not possible. And when I say he lies when he says he does like me, his answer is that I was someone entirely different in the past. I am not sure if the person he likes really existed, it was just a facade… And even if that person existed, I am unable to change back. I don’t know how to change back since I don’t know what kind of person I was. I bet he will just leave me now that he knows the person he likes was an illusion and that there is no hope for her to come back… He didn’t say he was leaving me though.

I asked him to send me my drawing too. He said he would need to find it and go to a post office… I said it was more like I wasn’t worth the price of a stamp so I suggested covering the mailing costs and then he went sort of mad.

He should stop lying to me… I’m not that dumb…