My Sorrows

This mess, my love for him started a year ago. So today should be the 365th day that I love him, but I am not sure if I still love him to be honest. I don’t even know if there is still a point in us talking to each other. Well, he doesn’t want to talk to me anyway… because I am tiring. I don’t know if he will try to talk to me ever again, but I don’t think I will if he does not. I feel numb, but when I imagine my life without him, then I start out crying. There is nothing I can do about it apparently. I know I lost him about six months ago when I was depressed… Back then he still cared about me. But now… Now there’s nothing. So why should we talk after all? What’s the point in it since he doesn’t fucking care about me anymore?

The only feeling I have right now, except from sadness, is that he was a waste of my time and that, while I thought I had found someone amazing, I only found a mean person, just like every other man I met before, except that he lied to me and now that he’s revealing himself… It’s even more horrible than someone who is nasty from the beginning.

I am just hurt… He marked me for life, for the better or for the worst, I have no idea… But in spite of everything, I hope he will come back or if he does not, that he will have a thought for me from time to time.