My Loves

He’s in my every thoughts. He’s everything to me and I can’t live without him. I have met him last year and we’ve known each other for a tad less than a year but it soon became evident that he was the love of my life. Unfortunately, he doesn’t love me the way I do. He says he does love me as a friend though. It is sort of… difficult to accept but it’s better than nothing. He is the sweetest person I have ever met, and, that’s actually why I fell in love with him. Because nobody had ever behaved that way with me.

He’s not here… He lives in Poland and I live in France. The love part can seem weird but, isn’t it better to love someone who cares about you and is your friend no matter how far he is from you than someone who is nothing but a part-time lover who is going to break your heart ?

I think it is.

There are some things I dislike about him, but it is always so unimportant when I think about all the good things he did for me. He changed my life.

Now I am highly depressed for I don’t know what reason. It’s been going on for a couple of months now. He tried everything and he went sort of mad because of the things I said and did. And now he’s gone. And I lost my pole when he left me. I know he will be back in no time, but that’s still too much to deal with. I truly want him back. I would do anything… But he’s twice as stubborn as I am, and I sometimes wonder if he will really come back. Some other days, I think the best thing I have to offer him is to tell him goodbye once and for all so that he can be happy without me, the worrying and annoying friend.

I am going offline now, to think all of this over. Once more.

(Sorry for my poor english.)